Turtles All The Way Down
by Dracuncula
Summary: Jane learns that African spurred tortoises are very, very good at digging tunnels. Established Rizzles.


**Previously published on Livejournal. I do not own the characters of Rizzoli & Isles.**

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African spurred tortoises, Jane Rizzoli would learn on a warm and sunny Boston afternoon, were excellent burrowers. Quick, excellent burrowers. Because Jane was sure she couldn't have been gone for more than a few minutes (okay, well, maybe it had been the whole first half of the ball game that just so happened to be on), but then who'd have thought that a 130 lbs turtle could tunnel his way out of Maura's enormous garden in record time?

"Shit, shit, shit!" the detective cursed, running a hand nervously through her thick curls. Maura was out for the afternoon and had tasked Jane with one thing, and one thing only: to keep an eye on Bass.

Not long after Maura had left the house, Bass had slowly made his way over to the glass double doors which gave way to Maura's enormous back garden. He'd cocked his head out of his shell and kept nodding it up and down, as if trying to tell Jane that he wanted nothing more than to potter around on the lush green grass outside. Before long, Jo Friday had picked up on the giant tortoise's agenda and was soon yipping and jumping up and down in front of the door as well. Jane, who was just about to sit down and await the start of the ball game, had decided to let Jo and Bass take their play date outside so she could enjoy some peace and quiet.

It wasn't until Jo had come back into the house and desperately tried to get her human's attention that Jane had ventured outside to check on Maura's beloved tortoise. But instead of the massive reptile, all Jane could find was a massive tunnel. An ugly heap of dirt, marring Maura's otherwise perfectly manicured yard, was situated next to the fence enclosing the doctor's garden, and right next to the mound of dirt a hole to fit a 130 lbs tortoise. Jane had started to panic.

"Oh God Jo! We lost Bass! Why the hell didn't you come and get me sooner?" Jane hollered at the little dog who sat next to Jane looking confused.

"Fuck, Maura's going to kill me!" Jane vaguely remembered Maura once telling her that Bass must never be let into the garden unsupervised because there was no chicken wire in place. Back then this statement hadn't made a whole lot of sense to Jane. Looking at the giant hole in Maura's garden, suddenly it did.

Jane dug through her pockets for her phone, hastily punching in her brother's number.

"Frankie, it's me. Listen I need your help, I need you to come over to Maura's right now, as fast as you can. And pick up Tommy on the way!" Jane all but yelled into the phone.

The sun had already begun to set when Maura returned to her home. Seeing Frankie's unmarked out front the house baffled the M.E. for a moment, as she had no recollection of Frankie wanting to come over to visit that day. Then again, having one or more of the Rizzoli's at her house was nothing unusual per se. But before she could even make her way to the door, she heard agitated yet familiar voices coming from around the corner of her house.

"Jane?" Maura called, following the noise.

Once around the back of her house and a little further along the massive fence covered by dense shrubs that marked the border of her property, she found all three Rizzoli's standing in front of her looking like deer caught in the headlight. Almost at once she noticed that all of them had dirt-stained clothes and hands, as if they had been spending the past few hours crouching in the dirt on all fours.

"What on earth is going on?" Maura knew this particular expression of guilt on Jane all too well.

"It's Jane's fault!" Tommy was quick to point out, earning himself a punch to the shoulder by his sister.

Maura fixed the three Rizzoli's with her most austere glare, and Frankie and Tommy hastily mumbled something about heading back to the house to wash up and grab something to drink, which left Jane and Maura to themselves.

"Spill." the doctor demanded.

"I … God Maura, you're gonna hate me for this!"

"You're starting to scare me Jane. What is going on?" Maura stepped closer to her girlfriend, her eyes searching Jane's.

"I lost Bass." Jane admitted in a small voice.

"You … What? You lost Bass? How?" now Maura was sounding slightly alarmed.

"I am so, so sorry Maura! I let him and Jo outside but then I got distracted and next time I checked there was this giant tunnel and I couldn't find Bass. We searched the whole area for him but he's gone."

"Oh, Jane!" Maura exclaimed, before she left her girlfriend standing where she was and headed towards the wrought iron gate leading to her vast garden. Stunned by Maura's action, it took Jane a while to gather her bearings and follow.

Once Jane stepped through the gate, she spotted Maura at the far end of her property, where a generous patch of garden was filled with densely packed rhododendrons. Jane watched the doctor squat in front of the bushes, peering underneath the densely grown plants. Bewildered, the detective jogged over to where Maura had positioned herself.

"Maur, what are you doing? There's a massive tunnel over there right next to the fence! That crazy-ass turtle dug his way out of the garden!"

"Crazy-ass tortoise, Jane." Maura corrected, not fazed at all by Jane's panic. "And I am fairly certain I can spot his shell just underneath the bush to the far end."

Maura finally straightened up again to face her stunned looking girlfriend. "He's done this before. Tortoises love to burrow into the ground, but I really don't believe Bass is trying to escape the garden. If ever he'd come through on the other side of the fence I believe it would be by mistake. Once he grows tired of digging he usually wanders off to doze in his favourite hiding place, which just so happens to be these rhododendron bushes."

"What? You mean that freaking turtle was hiding in the bushes all this time while we were out there in the dirt looking for him?" Jane glared in the direction of the rhododendrons.

"Tortoise. And yes, that is exactly what I think happened." Maura couldn't help the smug expression on her features.

"Oh come on! Really?"

"Yes, Jane, really." Maura chuckled to herself.

"I can't believe the turtle had me crouching around on all fours all afternoon looking for him! And he probably sat under there laughing his shell off!"

"Tortoise, Jane. And I hope you do realise tortoises can't laugh."

"Yeah Dr. Smartypants, I know tortoises can't laugh." Jane huffed, scowling at her girlfriend.

Stepping closer to Jane, Maura wrapped her arms around her pouting girlfriend. "Stop moping. Now come on, let's go inside so you can clean up. Bass will come back into the house on his own as soon as the sun goes down and it gets chilly outside."

"Alright. Fine. But if you ever tell anyone your turtle got the better of me, I swear I'll make it publicly known that I caught you watching _Twilight_ when I got home from my late shift last week!"

"Oh you wouldn't dare!" Maura burst out.

"Try me, woman!" Jane smirked.

"Fine. No one will ever hear about how Bass got the better of you." Maura promised. "Oh and Jane?"

"Yeah?"

"He's a tortoise."


End file.
